I received this forward from a friend I worked with at IBM and even though I have read it before, it made me laugh, so I thought that I would share it on my blog. For the record, I only have personal experience with numbers 3, 7, 18 and 24. I am sure that as my boys age this list will grow ...
1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Amherst, VA has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid
The list I received stopped at 25. I would like to add a few of my own too:
26. Boys love to pee in the great outdoors at every opportunity
27. Boys are greatly amused by bodily functions in general
28. Boys LOVE everything with wheels, and if something is not on wheels, they will manage to put it on wheels
29. Grapes turn to raisins when left in hard to reach (i.e. not easily found by mom or dad) places
30. Corn and peas are the perfect size to be flicked across the kitchen to the living room
31. Finding candy or gum on the floor and eating it(whether or not it was theirs to start with) is like finding a hidden treasure
32. Boys love and are very protective of their mommy -- at least mine do and are!
I love having boys!
