Second Child Syndrome

Being the second child has its advantages and its downsides -- and I should know, because I am one!

Advantages -- parents worry less, child gets away with more and gets to do more sooner because he is chasing his older brother … and he has a built in best friend! (Just to name a few)

Disadvantages -- hand me down clothes and split focus from parents (as compared to being an only child).

I refer to this phenomenon as second child syndrome. I firmly believe there are more advantages than disadvantages to having siblings, but I do feel guilty sometimes that Tyler doesn't get the undivided attention that Andrew did at this age.

To counter balance this we try to have some one on one time with each of the boys and I really cherish these moments. We let Andrew stay up later than Tyler on the weekends for special cuddle time and on weekend mornings/nap time Tyler will often get up before Andrew (because Andrew goes to bed/nap later), giving us some good one on one time. Also, on occasion during the weekends Doug and I will each take one of the boys to run errands, go to birthday parties, etc. so we get special time with them that way too.

The best part though, for me at least, is that after a bit of one and one time with us, both boys start looking for and asking about the whereabouts of his brother. Cue the built in best friend!

Tyler Story
This weekend while I was at a birthday party with Andrew, Doug and Tyler went to get my car inspected. They were playing with 4 Lightning McQueen cars at the shop, rolling them back and forth to each other. At one point, Tyler counted the cars, -- "one, two, three" -- and then said, "oh, oh, one is missing!"

Today after Tyler's nap I brought him downstairs and he counted each step on the way down. I was floored. I knew he was starting to count at school and we have been counting at home, but these examples from this weekend were the first times that he applied the skill on his own and in context. My little smarty pants was talking in his crib before bed too ... what was he talking about? He was counting :)

Andrew Story
Andrew sometimes wakes up early on the weekends and he will play quietly in his room until he is ready to come downstairs. When he is ready to come down, he will call out for Mommy or Daddy and that is our cue to go and get him (we keep a gate up for safety so that the boys will not try to come downstairs during the night. This is wonderful because it usually means that we get an extra 30 minutes to 1 hour of sleep while he plays quietly in his room. This morning however, instead of calling out for us by name, when he woke up he started saying, "Mommy, Daddy, I am hungry. I'm hungry. I'm very hungry." It made us laugh and definitely got our attention. It was not like he didn’t have a good dinner the night before but he happily ate his waffles, yogurt and strawberries for breakfast!