I got 'that' call on Thursday. It was nearly lunch time and one of my co-workers was waiting by my desk so we could go to the gym and I was on the phone with a customer trying to wrap up a deal when the assistant for my group walks over to my desk with a sticky note that says "Your son's school is on hold. It is urgent."
My immediate thought was, which son? Who's hurt? I imagined that one of my boys had broken an arm or something of that sort. I immediately put my customer on hold and grabbed the other line to hear the voice of the Assistant Principal at Andrew's School. Not the nurse. Uh oh.
The Assistant Principal does not call when your child gets hurt - the nurse calls. The Assistant Principal calls when someone is in trouble. Big trouble.
My next thought was,
'Oh no, what did he do!?!; What did he say? Who did he hurt' Well, before I could ask the question that was on my mind, she told me. The good news was that he had not hurt himself or anyone else but he was still in BIG trouble.
He was in trouble for not listening and not following directions. Specifically, he was jumping off the swings on the playground and when he was told to stop, he did not oblige. When he was told to go to time out because he would not listen, again, he did not oblige. When the class went inside from the playground he was again asked to go to time out, and again, he resisted. Then, when he finally went to time out, he turned the time out chair upside down and took off his shoe. That is when he was sent to the Assistant Principal's office.
The purpose of her call was to ask us to come pick Andrew up from school - he was suspended for the afternoon. Uggh.
Douglas went to pick him up and we have both had nice, long talks with him about using his listening ears, following directions, etc. The new rule at home is that if he gets in trouble at school, then no TV or dessert that night. Serious infractions will require that he spend most of the evening in his bedroom, but that will be saved for when he is in big trouble.
You might think that we are being too lenient, but this is where the post title comes in. You see, Andrew is his mother's son. I was always in trouble for something or another from 4 - 10 years old. I got "Needs Improvement" for my conduct grades until 4th grade ... and I never really got in trouble because of it.
Don't get me wrong, my mom talked to me about what I should / should not be doing in class, but she felt that I was a "bright, smart and spirited little girl" (her words) and that I would out grow the chattiness, not following directions, etc. with time -- and I did.
I think that Andrew is often misunderstood. For example, he told me he took off his shoe in time out because he had mulch in it from the playground. Well, that makes perfect sense to me and I would have done the same thing at his age and I am sure that I would have gotten in trouble for it too. At 4, kids don't think, "Hmmm, I better ask the teacher if I can take off my shoe because something inside of it is bothering me", they just do it, or at least my child does.
Andrew seems to mature more each day and I am confident that he will not struggle with behavior as long as I did in school, but if he does, we will help him through it every step of the way.
Ahh, to be the mother of boys.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
